The need for approval and success

The need for approval arises from the fear of rejection or criticism. It is a behavior learned over time from earlier childhood as a result of our interactions with the people around us more especially our care givers. The over concern for approval manifests itself in adulthood in one's workplace seeking approval from our bosses, colleagues or in spouses in a family set up. As an adult, one becomes pre-occupied with opinions from others and can easily lead to an obsession to please or over-perform.

Obsession to please others
How does extreme need for approval affect our success? The extreme need for approval results in one over-exerting themselves to earn approval and can easily lead to stress in your life. You will find yourself putting more energy in pleasing others and not in accomplishing your tasks or goals. One can easily deviate from the set goals and get pre-occupied with undefined goals with no clear vision. If you are a parent it is highly recommend not to over demand your children with goals that they have no passion in. Your children may easily become unproductive, withdrawn or rebellious in the process.

Unrealistic Goals
The urge to please others may lead you to follow unrealistic goals. You will find your self living or pursuing other peoples goals instead of yours, the end result is always devastating. No one can live another's life of pursue another's goals and achieve them. The passion and the will power will eventually fade away and the tasks will be left undone. You will feel like a failure and frustrations may come in as a result. On the extreme side, people may lose trust in you as you leave most of your tasks shoddily done.

How to overcome the need for approval
We may have grown up in an environment where we always feed the need to proof ourselves to others in search for a sense of belonging. It is not your fault that you found yourself in such kind of environment as a child, however it is good to know how damaging this can be as an adult. The good news is, all is not lost. You have an opportunity to unlearn this behavior, I am not going to promise you that it is going to be easy, it requires determination but not impossible.. You have to realize the fact that most people are not thinking about you at all and may not notice the torture you are putting yourself through in order to please them. In addition to that, you can never please everyone, we all have our likes and dislikes, your efforts to please people will only result to confusion and burning yourself out. Be yourself, determine your goals and follow them through at your own pace and standards.

Secondly, do not be afraid of criticism and rejection. Some people are going to reject you in life not because you are not good enough, but because you are too good and for some they just have no reason for it. It is good to note that you can not make people like you, people will make their own opinion and a choice just like no one can make you like someone or something that your heart is not into. Take a breath live your own life and be true to yourself.

Last but not least, rejection of your ideas does not mean your rejection. We all have different ways of looking at things. I am over 30 years and until today I do not understand the craze people have over beer, as a matter of fact I find it very repulsive. It is however good to note that I have friends who love beer, they do not understand my dislike for IT, but that has not prevented us from being good friends. We agree to disagree in our opinions and likes. If you are looking for someone who will have the same opinion as yours in all your ideas and have the same likes as your, you are going to look for that person for a lifetime, because such does not exist. You may have similar likes but not in all things and that is the beauty of life, diversity.

****Best Words of Advice****

Live your life and be true to your self

Teamwork- Secret To Success

"You are only as strong as your weakest point." I am sure you have heard about or come across this phrase. The first time I read about it, I could not make head or tail of it. Strength and weakness have nothing in common or so I thought till I learnt otherwise.

Teamwork is diversity
I work in the service industry in an airline to be precise. We have the marketing team that takes the product to the client, the sales team that convinces the guest to buy, the check in agent who ensures the client checks in and boards the flight, we have the flight attendant who ensures the customer is comfortable on board and off course the team that will receive the client on arrival. You will notice that I have only mentioned the customer facing teams here.

"Teams are most productive when they stimulate innovative thought and propose original approaches to achieving  goals ."

" If the team members all think alike – every person in the group is unnecessary, except one." Scott Mckain

We all of course know that a lot takes place in the background from the time the client decides to buy a ticket to his arrival at destination. We have the caterers who ensure the meals are well cooked and packaged, the pilots who ensure the smooth, safe take off and landing of the flight, the loaders who ensure your bags are safe on board, the IT guy who ensures the systems are up and running to avoid any delays in your flight and the cleaners who ensure the toilets within the airport and in the cabin are clean for your comfort among others. All these people have different skills and abilities but they work together towards a common goals, the client. If one of them fails, the whole system fails.

Teamwork is having a shared vision, clear roles and responsibilities

"The problem is that many leaders and organizations believe “teamwork” also includes liking each other; hanging out after work; going along to get along; or sharing personal stories after a long-day of team-building games. If that’s your definition, teamwork is not as important as you think." Randy Pennington

Getting along after work is not teamwork if the team does not have a common goal, defined responsibilities and clear roles. We do not expect the pilot to do the flight attendants's job or the sales agent to ensure the bags for the clients are on board. The sales agent is going to assure the clients that the bags will be safe till the end of the flight but someone else is going to ensure this has been done. The goal is one, the roles and responsibilities are different and clear cut. When goals are not shared or responsibilities and roles well defined, a blame game arises and nothing will get done and of course you have guessed it right, you will have one unhappy customer to contend with.

Teamwork is removing barriers
Working in silos is a sure way to failure as a team. You must remove any barriers and encourage communication to ensure success. The sales agent has to ensure any meal requests for clients have been passed on to the caterer, the caterer has to ensure the meals have been availed on board and the crew made aware where and how they have been packed. The check in agent has to ensure the meals have been inserted well in the manifest and the same availed to the flight attendant. Barriers have to be broken down to ensure a seamless service. Have the initiative to find out how your colleagues are working, their challenges and how you can make their work easier,any delay in delivery from one group means failure of the whole group.

Teamwork is respect for each other
Teamwork is respecting the ability of every member in the team. No one is more superior than the other. Trust me, I am an expert when it comes to cleaning my toilet at home, but I can not promise the same when it comes to cleaning an aircraft toilet and I do not expect the pilot or the checking agent to know how. We have the best sales team out there and they bring in the best clients, I do not expect them to fix the aircraft when it has a technical issue, that is the work of our highly skilled technical team who am sure have no idea how to convince a client to buy us. Every member in the team has a special ability all of them different but equally important, none can do without the other.

Success in any team is pegged on it's strengths and weakness. You will only be successful as far as your weakness allows. Same goes to your personal success, the weak points you keep on brushing aside focusing only on your strengths, could be the reason why you are not as successful as you would like to be.

****Best Words Of Advice****

You are only as strong as your weakest point

How Your Faith affects your Success Part 1

What is Faith?
Faith is the complete trust and believe in someone or something. Today we are going to discuss about faith in someone, and that someone is you. How much faith do you have in yourself? Do you know the relationship between your faith and your success?

I am going to give you a true story, names have been changed for privacy purposes. Mary and Jane got employed in a marketing company on a similar date. Mary’s academic papers indicated that she was a A student and always at the top of her classes unlike Jane who was an average student. It was only natural that the company expected Mary to be a better performer as compared to Jane. The company expected that Mary would bring in more customers, more sales and higher profits. Ironically at the end of the financial year, Jane's performance was almost twice better than Mary's and she looked highly motivated too. Mary on the other hand was demotivated, her performance was below target. So what happened to Mary? How was it possible that an average student became a better marketer than an A student?

Mary and Jane came from two different academic institutions. Mary was taught that getting good grades was the key to get a good job, earn good money, have a good life and this was success as far as she was concerned, what else would she ask for. What they never taught her was what comes after securing a good job. On the other hand Jane was taught that good grades were not enough to make her a successful person, securing a good job was not the end but the beginning. She was taught that in order to succeed in life she had to believe in herself and her abilities to handle new situations and challenges. This little aspect differentiated Mary and Jane out of the academic world. Education is important, it is a key to success in life, but education alone is not enough, we must have knowledge on how to handle and use what we have acquired academically to achieve success. How do you build faith in yourself?

“Education doesn’t just take place in stuffy classrooms and university buildings, it can happen everywhere, every day to every person.” – Richard Branson

Belief in Yourself
Faith is believing in yourself even when the whole world does not. The worst thing you can do in life is to stop believing in yourself. There will come a time when no one is going believe in you, that does not mean you have to do the same. You are the only person who knows you best, no one is ever going to know you better than you do apart from God. Seeking approval from other people all the time is not going to take you anywhere, remember everyone has been called for a purpose and each calling is unique. The Lord God Almighty has called you for that purpose and He has planted a seed in you, it is this seed that gives you ideas, prompts you to do a certain task or follow a particular project. No one else has been called so, yes I know many can be called for a specific mission, but every mission has a particular task that only you and no one else can fulfill. People are going to see things differently from the way you do, that does not make you superior or inferior to anyone else, it simply means you are bringing unique ideas to the table to enhance the final product.

Belief in Your Ideas.
Faith is believing in your ideas however small they may look. I work in an airline industry I have had I had a privilege of working in the cargo department for three years as a Ramp Agent and Load Master. Our manager was a good leader and he had introduced brainstorming sessions once a month where everyone including the loading agents could point out shortcomings and give suggestions on how to improve operations. The loading agents used to shy off at first because they were not used to the idea of giving their views in such a forum, this was a forum that had powerful people in the company and they felt intimidated by their presence, however little by little they warmed up to the forum and gave in their contributions. I remember very well, how 90% of the the ideas that were implemented and became successful came from the ideas that were initially thought to be insignificant. The ideas were small yes, one of them they included making a small alterations to some of the loading equipment to avoid wear and tear. The changes not only deterred wear and tear, they greatly improved the rate of consumption of power consumption, reduced manpower per equipment and saved time in loading and money for repairs. This idea alone saved the company over $10,000 per month. Was it a big idea? Most people thought it was a small idea. Did it come from an engineer in the company? It came from a loading agent who saw a problem, came up with a possible solution and someone believed in him but he believed in his idea first.

You have to belief in your ideas first in order to succeed. When you believe in your ideas, it becomes easy to convince others to support you in the journey to drive your idea, project, or mission to a positive end. People will believe you more when you believe in your self and in the agenda you are bringing to the table.

Belief in Your Potential
Faith is believing in your potential. Have you ever been surprised when people tell you how good you are in something you never thought you were good at? It has happened to me many times, this blog is a living testimony of a result of believing in my potential through what others saw in me. People have seen your potential by the time they point out that you are good in something more so if it comes from trusted people and unexpected people or strangers. If you hear it severally from different people it is time you believed in it and move on with it.

Your boss may entrust you with a task at work out of the blue not in line with your key responsibilities, most of us will either find an excuse as to why we cannot do it, or complain of additional workload. Minority will gladly take it up and see it to conclusion. These are the same people who move easily and quickly up the career ladder and we keep on wondering how they manage to do it. They believe in their potential not only in handling normal tasks but also what has been entrusted to them by faith.

“Take a chance. It’s the best way to test yourself. Have fun and push boundaries.” – Richard Branson

When your boss decides to give you a task, it is because they know you can handle it, they have seen your capabilities, take it up and do it, do not give yourself excuses as to why you cannot handle it. In our culture we have a saying that states “ If they believe in you, believe in yourself” One common mistake most people make is belittling themselves and their capabilities, yes you have to be humble and not blow your own trumpet, but that does not bar you from performing your tasks with confidence and to completion.

Belief in God
Faith is believing in God and his promises. If God has said he made you in his own image, believe in it. He is the greatest master Creator of the universe and everything in it. He is the master of knowledge and He says that nothing is impossible through Jesus Christ as long as we walk in faith. When we lack faith we have no stand, we have no focus, we can easily be swayed and tossed around, we hand over our power to others and give them a ticket to use us to accomplish their goals and not ours; this is what many politicians do, they take advantage of our little faith and use us to accomplish their goals. If you have faith, you know your purpose, you have a clear vision and you know the path to take to achieve that mission. Let us move by faith, let us believe in God, let us believe in what God has called us to be, conquerors , high achievers,winners in everything we set out to do.

****Best Words of Advise***

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:6

**** Best Words of Advice****

"Whatever you want in life other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it"

-Diane Sawyer

How Do I Measure Success in My Life?

There is no definite way to measure success. What I consider a success life may not be successful to another. Furthermore what was a successful life to me when I was 10 years old is no longer a success 10 years down the line. How then can we measure success? How do we know that we are successful in life?

Many of us make a huge mistake when we want to know how successful we are by comparing our achievements to others, I strongly disagree with this concept because it is not a true measure of success. Let us compare these two examples below;

Mary and Jane cleared college together and got employed in the same company, earning the same salary. Within six months Jane has a car and Mary still commutes to work using public transport. Who among the two would you consider successful?

I know you would consider Jane to be more successful than Mary because she has managed to buy a car within six months of employment. Within face value yes, but we are forgetting some important factors here, their background. Jane comes from a well off family, she stays at her family house, she does not pay rent or any bills in the house. She has all her income to herself. Mary on the other hand stays away from home, pays her rent, water bills, electricity bills, she buys her food, has managed to support her two siblings through college and aided her parents to buy that home they have always wanted to have for the past 20 years. She cannot afford a car at this time but has she accomplished some of her goals? Can we consider her more successful than Jane now that we know their background. Great, now you understand what I mean, you can not measure  your success against other people's achievements, you can only measure success against your potential. What you are capable of against what you have achieved.

Factors to consider when measuring your success:

Age

Age is an important factor when you want to measure your success because we have different goals at every stage in life. When in college, you would consider passing your exams successful, after college you would consider having a well paying job successful, 10 years down the line you would consider having your own house and a car successful or running your own business. When you start measuring your success, you should first and foremost establish the stage you are in life and what you consider to be important at that age and time.

Goals

What do you want to achieve in life? The goals you have set for yourself are paramount when you want to measure your own success. I remember when I was in college, I did not only want to pass my exams, I wanted to pass my exams with honors, some of my friends were content with passing, the honorary title was not part of their success. If I had passed my exams without honors, I would not consider myself a failure, but I would not consider myself successful either.

Some people would consider having a roof over their head and being able to provide for their family a success, others will want more that that. They would not only want a roof over their head, they would want that roof to be their own house, a house with no rent to pay at the end of the month. Having a house of your own is an achievement, for another person having a house is not enough, it has to be of a certain design and size, be in a certain location preferably near the beach, at the end of the day, you will only be able to measure your success against the goals you have set for yourself. Consider yourself successful if you are able to accomplish the goals you have set for yourself within the time specified.

Impact

The ability to have a positive impact in society is a good way to measure your success. You do not have to be a prominent person or hold a powerful position to make an impact in society. Helping a colleague at work or in college is making a positive impact, you may not see it that way but you do leave a lasting  mark in every person you interact with. Take advantage and make it count , let that mark be a positive one. There are many ways in which you can leave a positive mark, at the church choir, helping your parents with household chores or paying bills, assisting someone with homework, volunteering within the community, contributing to positive changes at work or helping that old couple around the corner. Positive marks have a way of outliving us and they give us a sense of fulfillment, go out there and live your positive mark.

Potential

If you are living in a comfort zone or have that feeling that you can do more, then you are limiting your own success. Our ability to do a task is not the same for everyone, our potential is different. The fact that you have achieved more than those around you does not make your successful, the question is, is this the best you can do? If the answer is yes, consider yourself a successful person, if not, you need do something about it. Let us take this scenario. John is a bright student who has moved to a new town and registered in a new school. He used to get more than 80 points in his previous school, the children there were very competitive and he never used top in his class but that was the best he could manage. In his new school, he is always a the top of his class, but his points have gone down below 70. Would you consider John successful against his potential despite the fact that he tops in class? Of course not, you know he can do better, being top in class is a comfort zone but not successful. It is the same situation for all of us. You need to evaluate your life to establish if you are successful or in a comfort zone.

Challenges

If you are the kind of person who never gives up when faced with challenges, consider yourself a successful person. I know of this boy back in primary, his parents could not afford to pay his school fees, the boy never dropped out of school like the rest who faced the same predicament. He started rearing chicken which he would sell, he also helped with gardening during his free time at a small fee, he managed to pay his fee this way through primary and secondary school. I would consider this gentleman a successful man. He now owns a wholesale store supplying shops within the village with merchandise. He is not the president or a prime minister, but he has a way of overcoming challenges. The ability to overcome challenges is a good way to measure success in your life.

It is evident that what i consider as success is not the same as the other person. The best way to measure success is to do it as an individual. First you have to define what success means to you to be able to measure it. Refer to my previous article on How to define success in your life.


I will take this opportunity as usual to welcome you to share, comment and give feedback on how you measure success.

**** Best Words of Advice****

" We can not measure  our success against other people's achievements, we can only measure success against our potential." - Evaline Nyambati

How to define success in your life

What is success?

We all have different ways of defining success. We may decide to define success in relation to other people or we can choose to define success in our own terms. I love to define success in my own terms. Success should give me a sense of achievement, a sense of satisfaction, and joy. I love to define success in my own terms because I believe I have been called for a special mission in life and my mission is unique. It is never going to be the same as yours, your mother's or your twin. We are all unique and we have been called to serve unique missions here on earth.

Define success in your own terms and live by it.

Today I am going to share with you different way on how I define success in my life. I hope this will help you to define yours. Unless you define your own success, you will never have clear goals and eventually you will never amount to anything.

Success is passion and determination.

Determination for me is a key factor in life. The determination to go on even when the future does not look promising, the never giving up spirit when things go wrong, the strength to wake up every morning with a positive mind that I will make it in life no matter what. That is success, but remember determination can not be kept alive without passion. You have to be passionate about life and what you pursue in life. Pursuing dreams without passion drains us of energy and we end up with false non fulfilling achievement.

Understanding who controls your destiny.

Success is understanding who controls your destiny. God has made us in his own image and He has given us the power to choose. The power to choose between right and wrong, to do or not to do, to be positive or to be negative, to go on or to give up, to be happy or to be sad. He has given us the power to choose our destiny. Once we understand this concept, then we are successful. We can move on with life in confidence making better choices towards our destiny.

Understanding that our weaknesses and disabilities are stepping stones.

Success is when we know our weaknesses, our disabilities and not let them hold us back from our dreams, it is the ability to believe in ourselves, it is the ability to believe that we can. We create our own limitations by negative thing or worse by believing what others say. The fact that your mother, father, sister or friend did not make it in your field of passion does not mean you will never make it too. We design our destiny by choosing what we believe in and what we chose to do or not do.

Counting your blessing.

Success is when you celebrate your victories however small, it is when you count your blessing instead of what you think you have missed in life. You may have not gotten that promotion at work, be grateful that you are employed, you have a roof above your head and you can afford at least a meal a day. Other people do not have that luxury. Count your blessings and be grateful.

Standing up for what you believe in.

Success is standing up for what you believe in no matter what.Standing for what you believe in is the ability to say no with no regrets. It is better to stand alone than be with a crowd with a false sense of belonging. If you are strong enough to stand for what is right, you may be alone today, but you will meet people along the way who believe in your dreams and ideas. Do not give up, and welcome feedback however negative; “ If you do not have critics, you will likely have no success” Malcolm X.

Success is love.

Success is the ability to love and be loved back. It is not going to cost you much to love, give people a chance to love you back too. It is a symbiotic relationship. If it is done one way, one party is likely to be drained. Take time to celebrate and appreciate people in your life who love you for what you are no matter what. Those people who do not care about your bank account, your beauty or how much weight you have gained in the last few years. Those people who cry with you during your worst moments and genuinely celebrate your achievements no matter how small. Those people who laugh through your stupid jokes and are ready to give you a beating to straighten you up.

Success is self development.

Success is the willingness to learn a new thing every day, to progress, to find ways to better yourself every time you have the opportunity. There is no end to how much we can better ourselves and there is nothing under the sun that is too hard to learn.When you understand that learning is a continuous process,you are a successful person. The moment we stop learning we stop our success.

Overcoming fear.

Success is overcoming fear. Overcoming the fear of what people may say, overcoming the fear of what if i do not make it,  what lays ahead, what the future hold, overcoming the fear of the unknown. We will succeed only if we are able to master our fears, we can only overcome our fears when we know who hold our future, we may not know what the future holds, but one thing is crystal clear he is already there. God is already in the future, trust in Him and move on.

Taking care of your needs while supporting others.

Success is not measured by how much knowledge you have acquired, how much money you have accumulated, or how much wealth you have, but by how many people you have developed along the way.  It is the ability to understand how to be there for others and not leaving yourself behind. It is the ability to be self sufficient, take care of your needs while supporting others at the same time. There is that aura in people who embrace and develop others. Have ever seen the look or a parent when their child graduates with honors? Or a teacher when their student pass and are successful in life, now that is success.

Setting your priorities right.

Success is about setting your priorities right, knowing the difference between your needs and your wants and allocating each the weight it deserves in your life. Family and work, both are important but family comes before the other. A car and a house are important, you must have a roof on your head and a full stomach before you buy a car. You must have a place you call home, a house and family, close knit friends to support you when you need it. You have to put your trust and faith in God before man. When your priorities are right success is eminent.

Setting your goals and doing your best.

Last but not least,consider yourself successful if you have set clear goals and you are doing your best to achieve them. I should have put this as point number one, but if you can not do the above,you will not be able to set out concrete goals. Setting your goals is not enough if you are not giving your best everyday. Do each task leaving no room for improvement. If you want help, go for it, but never leave anything undone.

Many people are going to give you various definitions about success like I have done, but the only person who can define success is you. You have to define success in your own terms and live by it. Remove all boundaries, set your mind free and go for it. Success is for everyone.

*****Best Words of Advise***

Define success in your own terms and live by it.

When to let go of a relationship

The wise know when it is time to move on

We value relationships more so the ones we have invested our time, emotions and energy in. We would love these relationships to go on forever. The reality is however different, sometimes we have to let go some relationships in order to move on. Staying in a challenging relationship is brave, but letting go and moving on when necessary makes us stronger and happier.

How and when do we decide that it is time to let go and move on? Below are guidelines on when to let go.

Someone expects you to be who you are not.
Remember you can never be a copy of someone and be happy. Ephesians 20:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Jesus for his good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Trying to walk in contrary to what we have been created and called for is a sure way of living in sorrow and misery.

Mistrust.
If you cannot trust someone any more or promises are broken however small with trivial excuses, it is time to let go. Relationships are build on mutual trust, mistrust is poisonous to any relationship.

Your worth is not appreciated
If you find yourself in a relationship where you have to continuously prove your worth in order to earn respect, then my friend it time to walk away. Walk away and never look back.

Your opinion does not matter
How? If your opinion does not matter how are you going to build this relationship? Unless you do not have a care in the world how you would like your relationship to be, which I doubt, you have to let it be. A health relationship is build on sharing and helping each other at all times.

Sacrificing your happiness for theirs 
Once in a while we have to make compromises, but not at the expense of our happiness. Relationships are about sharing, accommodating one another an bringing happiness to each other. If you are not happy, you are in the wrong place. Move on.

Disengaging from your faith and family
Life is all about our faith in God and our family comes second. If you are in a relationships that is disengaging you from these two great values, it is time you re-evaluated what is important in your life. If there are people who can never get tired of who you are and will always accommodate you a all times, it is God and your family. Hold them close unless of course, your family is the unhealthy relationship we are talking about.

No progress.
Good relationships give us energy to grow and become a better us. We are propelled to growth and we have the support we need, however unhealthy relationships drain up our energy. We are continuously pumping more energy to sustain our relationship, consequently our dreams are put on hold. We loose our identity and focus.Furthermore we do not get the support we need to progress, we are continuously put down or our ideas are belittled  to an extent that they never see the light of the day.

**** Best Words of Advice***

The wise know when it is time to move on - Evaline Nyambati

How to Achieve Peace in Your Life.

In a world filled with strife peace often seems too elusive to even hope for. If you are a child of god, the scripture makes it clear that peace is indeed possible. God is a God of peace, and peace comes from Him. Peace with ourselves and others makes it easier for us to achieve our goals. Where there is no peace, there are chaos and you do not expect success and progress to be born out of chaos.

Below are a few guidelines on how to achieve peace in your life.

Embrace the presence of God.

You will be able to achieve peace only when you embrace the presence of God in your life. If you have no peace, perhaps you have taken your eyes off Jesus. The scripture says, ”And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7) .The peace we are talking about, the peace that comes from our creator will be with us if we do not deviate from the right path. The path of righteousness.

Learn to forgive

Learning to forgive is a sure way to achieve inner peace. A heart that holds grudges is a heavy heart and peace cannot dwell in a heart that is heavy. I have learn through life that forgiving others makes my heart lighter, they do not have to ask for that forgiveness, i an not doing them a favor. I an doing myself a favor. The hear-ache goes away, in return you have that nice feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. That is the felling of peace, that peace that everyone should strive for.

Help others.

In Learn to extend a helping hand to those who need it in order to achieve peace. You will not be able to find inner peace if you know you did not do your part when you had a chance and your help was needed. Can you recall a time when you have that inner voice that calls you to help and then you ignore it? What happens next? Another voice repeatedly asks, did i do the right thing?, maybe i should have helped, what if i had helped/ could this be avoided. It id our guilty conscious nagging us. If we make this mistake repeatedly, we will always have that guilt conscious, a big obstacle to peace achievement.

Stay out of debt.

Dept is one this i will always avoid if I can, there were times i had a lot of debts and loans with the bank and a non stable income. Those were some of my worst days of my life. I lived in constant fear of what will happen if i lost my job today? How will i pay of my loans, my debts? Will they understand?. I remember the day i was able to clear off my debts, wow it was such a nice feeling. If you have been in my situation you know what i am talking about, there is so much uncertainty .If you can avoid it, stay out of it. Dept is one thing that has robbed over 70% of individuals off their peace. Living with the constant fear of when the bank is going to seize your property or avoiding your friends due to debt is not exactly a way of living a peaceful life.

Be organize.

Peace is organization. Organization makes it easier for us to accomplish our tasks in our daily life with less struggle and gives us time and space to relax. When we are organized we are able to accomplish more as well as meat our goal. We will not have to worry about not meeting our datelines, leaving things undone or our employer or tutor being on our neck over unfinished or low quality work. We will not have to worry not attending a friend's wedding or your child's football game because you forgot about it or something came up suddenly and then live to regret not going. It is that inner peace you have knowing that everything will fall in place because it has been allocated it own time. It is that peace you have when you enter your home or office and know where you will find anything you may require for that day easily because everything has a home. It is the feeling of confidence, relaxation and focus.

Give love.

Give love to everyone, it is one thing that is not going to cost you anything but will earn you a lifetime of genuine friends, keep your family intact and grant you timeless joy and peace. We will not be able to find peace if we are in turmoil over hate. Hate and peace can not dwell in the same house. We have to sweep our house clean of hate to give room for peace to reign. Yes i know that some people will not appreciate the love you give them, that is natural, other will hate you for giving it out. Our Lord Jesus face the same fate but that did not deter him from loving us. He loved us anyway and he is the prince of peace. Do not get me wrong, loving others does not mean you give them a ticket to walk all over you, you need to be firm, set your boundaries, help when needed and correct according, just like Jesus did. If we learn hoe to love effectively, achieving peace becomes eminent in our life.

If you has enjoyed this post, please let us know. Share with us more ways on how we can find peace.

**** Best Words of Advice ****

"Turn fro Evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." ( Psalms 34:14)

The best way to boost your confidence.

Your level of confidence is directly related to your success. We all have those moments when we feel inadequate, which is alright, however insecurity is a dream killer. We have to boost our confidence consistently to enable us pursue our dreams with focus and vigor.

Below are a few ways on how you can boost your confidence.

Positive affirmation

Negative thinking and self talk is a sure way of killing your confidence. The best way to avoid this is to have positive affirmations about yourself and affirm them daily. I have a few of my own I can share:

• I am beautiful
• I am a great achiever
• I am an organised person
• I am focused on my goals
• I am a great person

You can have as many as you like, the more the better.

Believe in yourself

You have what it takes to succeed, you have to believe it to make it.. If we do not believe in ourselves, it does not matter if the whole world believes in us, our self confidence will crumble. Let us take our positive affirmations seriously and believe in ourselves. Our confidence will grow gradually.

Be proactive

Let us be proactive in approaching any situation in our lives. The more proactive we are, the more projects we undertake. From experience, the more you participate, you gain skills which build expertise and expertise brings confidence. You will realize in no time that tasks which were a challenge become a habit and you wonder how you could have found then hard initially.

Be ready to make mistakes

There is always a first time for everything. I remember well my first French class, everyone including the teacher thought I was a nonredeemable case considering the numerous mistakes I made in my first year. Guest what?, I was the best in French at the end of my four years in training and this came with an award. I never did shy off from my mistakes, on the contrary I made a lot of them till I was confident enough to handle it.

What are some of confidence boosters that you know? Please be free to share with us.

****Best words of advice*****

What you believe, you become

Have You Achieved your Goals? Are You Where You Want to Be?

We all have dreams, where we want to be. Are we there yet? Can you remember those dreams and goals you used to think about when you were young, the dreams you wanted to accomplish when you finished college, when you got your first job?, the dreams you had when you got married or moved to that new neighborhood or country? How many of them have you achieved, how many of them can you confidently stand up today and count as accomplished? Some of us are far from where we want to be, we have either deviated from our goals or worse still stuck somewhere and given up. I have been there I know what I am talking about, there are times when i take stock of my goals I get amazes at how much i have accomplished or how much I have not, I have experiences the mistakes I have made and i am ready to share what i have learn so that you can not make them. Below are common mistakes that hinder us from achieving our goals.

You have wandered away from your goal. 
One reason why we do not achieve our goals is because we have deviate from them. The moment we deviate from our goals and start pursuing new ones on the way, we take many steps back and the end result is many set but unaccomplished goals. Check your goals and confirm if you are on the right path. The best way to do this is to always review your goal on a daily , weekly, or monthly basis depending whether they are long term or short term goal. You will be able to know if you are in the right course or not. You can not board a flight for London and expect to land in Nairobi. Check and re-check. Get back in course.

Taking the easy way out

Most of us avoid challenges and choose to follow the path of comfort. No achievement ever comes to reality without challenges. Learn to face your fears and face those challenges as they come.

Doing nothing

We are not in the Era of Manna from heaven. You want something accomplished, do something about it.

No focus

We are Jack of all trades and specialty of none. This will never get you anywhere. Choose, focus and accomplish.

Excuses

This is the best way to failure. You want to reach that goal, you will find a way around it.

Not knowing when to let go

In some situations we have to let go to move on. Holding onto past mistakes and occurrences will only hold us back. It is time to let go.

Blaming ourselves

Let us be frank, yes we do make wrong choices, everyone does. Blaming yourself over and over again will not solve anything. Learn to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Waiting upon others

By all means this is not wrong, but you can not wait on others forever. A time comes when you have to be your own boss, make your own decisions, take responsibility over your life, that time is now.

Self doubt

No one is perfect in this world. No one knows it all. We all have our weaknesses. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Do not seat back and wait for someone to come and cheer you on. That someone may never show up, be your own cheerleader.

Pessimism

Learn to see possibilities in every situation. It is the only way you will overcome challenges along the way.

Do you know of any mistakes we do that keep us from our goals?

**** Best Words of Advice****

"Whatever you want in life other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it"

-Diane Sawyer