When to let go of a relationship

The wise know when it is time to move on

We value relationships more so the ones we have invested our time, emotions and energy in. We would love these relationships to go on forever. The reality is however different, sometimes we have to let go some relationships in order to move on. Staying in a challenging relationship is brave, but letting go and moving on when necessary makes us stronger and happier.

How and when do we decide that it is time to let go and move on? Below are guidelines on when to let go.

Someone expects you to be who you are not.
Remember you can never be a copy of someone and be happy. Ephesians 20:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Jesus for his good works which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Trying to walk in contrary to what we have been created and called for is a sure way of living in sorrow and misery.

Mistrust.
If you cannot trust someone any more or promises are broken however small with trivial excuses, it is time to let go. Relationships are build on mutual trust, mistrust is poisonous to any relationship.

Your worth is not appreciated
If you find yourself in a relationship where you have to continuously prove your worth in order to earn respect, then my friend it time to walk away. Walk away and never look back.

Your opinion does not matter
How? If your opinion does not matter how are you going to build this relationship? Unless you do not have a care in the world how you would like your relationship to be, which I doubt, you have to let it be. A health relationship is build on sharing and helping each other at all times.

Sacrificing your happiness for theirs 
Once in a while we have to make compromises, but not at the expense of our happiness. Relationships are about sharing, accommodating one another an bringing happiness to each other. If you are not happy, you are in the wrong place. Move on.

Disengaging from your faith and family
Life is all about our faith in God and our family comes second. If you are in a relationships that is disengaging you from these two great values, it is time you re-evaluated what is important in your life. If there are people who can never get tired of who you are and will always accommodate you a all times, it is God and your family. Hold them close unless of course, your family is the unhealthy relationship we are talking about.

No progress.
Good relationships give us energy to grow and become a better us. We are propelled to growth and we have the support we need, however unhealthy relationships drain up our energy. We are continuously pumping more energy to sustain our relationship, consequently our dreams are put on hold. We loose our identity and focus.Furthermore we do not get the support we need to progress, we are continuously put down or our ideas are belittled  to an extent that they never see the light of the day.

**** Best Words of Advice***

The wise know when it is time to move on - Evaline Nyambati

How to Achieve Peace in Your Life.

In a world filled with strife peace often seems too elusive to even hope for. If you are a child of god, the scripture makes it clear that peace is indeed possible. God is a God of peace, and peace comes from Him. Peace with ourselves and others makes it easier for us to achieve our goals. Where there is no peace, there are chaos and you do not expect success and progress to be born out of chaos.

Below are a few guidelines on how to achieve peace in your life.

Embrace the presence of God.

You will be able to achieve peace only when you embrace the presence of God in your life. If you have no peace, perhaps you have taken your eyes off Jesus. The scripture says, ”And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7) .The peace we are talking about, the peace that comes from our creator will be with us if we do not deviate from the right path. The path of righteousness.

Learn to forgive

Learning to forgive is a sure way to achieve inner peace. A heart that holds grudges is a heavy heart and peace cannot dwell in a heart that is heavy. I have learn through life that forgiving others makes my heart lighter, they do not have to ask for that forgiveness, i an not doing them a favor. I an doing myself a favor. The hear-ache goes away, in return you have that nice feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. That is the felling of peace, that peace that everyone should strive for.

Help others.

In Learn to extend a helping hand to those who need it in order to achieve peace. You will not be able to find inner peace if you know you did not do your part when you had a chance and your help was needed. Can you recall a time when you have that inner voice that calls you to help and then you ignore it? What happens next? Another voice repeatedly asks, did i do the right thing?, maybe i should have helped, what if i had helped/ could this be avoided. It id our guilty conscious nagging us. If we make this mistake repeatedly, we will always have that guilt conscious, a big obstacle to peace achievement.

Stay out of debt.

Dept is one this i will always avoid if I can, there were times i had a lot of debts and loans with the bank and a non stable income. Those were some of my worst days of my life. I lived in constant fear of what will happen if i lost my job today? How will i pay of my loans, my debts? Will they understand?. I remember the day i was able to clear off my debts, wow it was such a nice feeling. If you have been in my situation you know what i am talking about, there is so much uncertainty .If you can avoid it, stay out of it. Dept is one thing that has robbed over 70% of individuals off their peace. Living with the constant fear of when the bank is going to seize your property or avoiding your friends due to debt is not exactly a way of living a peaceful life.

Be organize.

Peace is organization. Organization makes it easier for us to accomplish our tasks in our daily life with less struggle and gives us time and space to relax. When we are organized we are able to accomplish more as well as meat our goal. We will not have to worry about not meeting our datelines, leaving things undone or our employer or tutor being on our neck over unfinished or low quality work. We will not have to worry not attending a friend's wedding or your child's football game because you forgot about it or something came up suddenly and then live to regret not going. It is that inner peace you have knowing that everything will fall in place because it has been allocated it own time. It is that peace you have when you enter your home or office and know where you will find anything you may require for that day easily because everything has a home. It is the feeling of confidence, relaxation and focus.

Give love.

Give love to everyone, it is one thing that is not going to cost you anything but will earn you a lifetime of genuine friends, keep your family intact and grant you timeless joy and peace. We will not be able to find peace if we are in turmoil over hate. Hate and peace can not dwell in the same house. We have to sweep our house clean of hate to give room for peace to reign. Yes i know that some people will not appreciate the love you give them, that is natural, other will hate you for giving it out. Our Lord Jesus face the same fate but that did not deter him from loving us. He loved us anyway and he is the prince of peace. Do not get me wrong, loving others does not mean you give them a ticket to walk all over you, you need to be firm, set your boundaries, help when needed and correct according, just like Jesus did. If we learn hoe to love effectively, achieving peace becomes eminent in our life.

If you has enjoyed this post, please let us know. Share with us more ways on how we can find peace.

**** Best Words of Advice ****

"Turn fro Evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." ( Psalms 34:14)

The best way to boost your confidence.

Your level of confidence is directly related to your success. We all have those moments when we feel inadequate, which is alright, however insecurity is a dream killer. We have to boost our confidence consistently to enable us pursue our dreams with focus and vigor.

Below are a few ways on how you can boost your confidence.

Positive affirmation

Negative thinking and self talk is a sure way of killing your confidence. The best way to avoid this is to have positive affirmations about yourself and affirm them daily. I have a few of my own I can share:

• I am beautiful
• I am a great achiever
• I am an organised person
• I am focused on my goals
• I am a great person

You can have as many as you like, the more the better.

Believe in yourself

You have what it takes to succeed, you have to believe it to make it.. If we do not believe in ourselves, it does not matter if the whole world believes in us, our self confidence will crumble. Let us take our positive affirmations seriously and believe in ourselves. Our confidence will grow gradually.

Be proactive

Let us be proactive in approaching any situation in our lives. The more proactive we are, the more projects we undertake. From experience, the more you participate, you gain skills which build expertise and expertise brings confidence. You will realize in no time that tasks which were a challenge become a habit and you wonder how you could have found then hard initially.

Be ready to make mistakes

There is always a first time for everything. I remember well my first French class, everyone including the teacher thought I was a nonredeemable case considering the numerous mistakes I made in my first year. Guest what?, I was the best in French at the end of my four years in training and this came with an award. I never did shy off from my mistakes, on the contrary I made a lot of them till I was confident enough to handle it.

What are some of confidence boosters that you know? Please be free to share with us.

****Best words of advice*****

What you believe, you become

Have You Achieved your Goals? Are You Where You Want to Be?

We all have dreams, where we want to be. Are we there yet? Can you remember those dreams and goals you used to think about when you were young, the dreams you wanted to accomplish when you finished college, when you got your first job?, the dreams you had when you got married or moved to that new neighborhood or country? How many of them have you achieved, how many of them can you confidently stand up today and count as accomplished? Some of us are far from where we want to be, we have either deviated from our goals or worse still stuck somewhere and given up. I have been there I know what I am talking about, there are times when i take stock of my goals I get amazes at how much i have accomplished or how much I have not, I have experiences the mistakes I have made and i am ready to share what i have learn so that you can not make them. Below are common mistakes that hinder us from achieving our goals.

You have wandered away from your goal. 
One reason why we do not achieve our goals is because we have deviate from them. The moment we deviate from our goals and start pursuing new ones on the way, we take many steps back and the end result is many set but unaccomplished goals. Check your goals and confirm if you are on the right path. The best way to do this is to always review your goal on a daily , weekly, or monthly basis depending whether they are long term or short term goal. You will be able to know if you are in the right course or not. You can not board a flight for London and expect to land in Nairobi. Check and re-check. Get back in course.

Taking the easy way out

Most of us avoid challenges and choose to follow the path of comfort. No achievement ever comes to reality without challenges. Learn to face your fears and face those challenges as they come.

Doing nothing

We are not in the Era of Manna from heaven. You want something accomplished, do something about it.

No focus

We are Jack of all trades and specialty of none. This will never get you anywhere. Choose, focus and accomplish.

Excuses

This is the best way to failure. You want to reach that goal, you will find a way around it.

Not knowing when to let go

In some situations we have to let go to move on. Holding onto past mistakes and occurrences will only hold us back. It is time to let go.

Blaming ourselves

Let us be frank, yes we do make wrong choices, everyone does. Blaming yourself over and over again will not solve anything. Learn to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Waiting upon others

By all means this is not wrong, but you can not wait on others forever. A time comes when you have to be your own boss, make your own decisions, take responsibility over your life, that time is now.

Self doubt

No one is perfect in this world. No one knows it all. We all have our weaknesses. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Do not seat back and wait for someone to come and cheer you on. That someone may never show up, be your own cheerleader.

Pessimism

Learn to see possibilities in every situation. It is the only way you will overcome challenges along the way.

Do you know of any mistakes we do that keep us from our goals?

**** Best Words of Advice****

"Whatever you want in life other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it"

-Diane Sawyer

Making the most out of what you have.

It is common to hear of I would do more if I had more money, was in a different company or country, if I had good friends, a better childhood, a better job .... the list is endless.

Yesterday I was listening to an interview on television hosted by Jeff Koinange. Jeff was hosting James Mwangi the CEO of Equity Bank and founder of Wings to Fly. Wings to Fly is a foundation started by Equity Bank to offer learning opportunities to bright students from less privileged backgrounds.The program has benefited many families in Kenya and has gotten a lot of support around the county. The CEO was accompanied by two student beneficiaries, a young lady a gentleman.

What impressed me the most was the closing statement from one of the beneficiaries. “Getting the best grades is but a bridge to get you to a destination. What you do when you arrive will depend on how you make the most out of what you have.” Some of us may not have the privilege of a helping hand as the students in this program, but that does not mean we can not live our dreams. As the young lady, one of the beneficiaries in this interview said, “God will use what is in your hand to make  great things happen just as he used the staff in Moses’s hand to do great Miracles.”

How do we make the most out of what we have?

Know what you have

When you know your strengths and what you have at hand, a talent, a skill, it makes it easier to align your goals and pursue them.

Align your goals with your talents and skills

It is more easier and enjoyable to pursue goals aligned to your talents and skills.

Accept your situation and limitations

Once we accept the situation that we are in and our limitations, we are in a better position to note the kind of support we need and from who.

Always ask for help

Never shy off from asking for help. Yes, we are not living in an ideal world but you may be shocked to learn how many people are willing to give you the support you need out there.

Know where you can get help from and the right people to approach

This is where most of us fail, we know the kind of help we need but we do not know how and where to get it from, ask around from friends and churches, schools can also be of help. My best ally, go online, there is so much information online of groups and organizations who offer support in line to specific needs. Word of caution, always validate online information before execution.

Never give up

It does not matter how many times you have to try, never give up. A valid dream will always burn inside you, if strategy one does not work, change course but never the goal.

****Best Words of Advice****

Where there is a will, there is a way

Eating my way to health

Eating well is easy said than done. Being one of my resolutions this year I decided to check my menu and do a little adjustments here and there. Below are a few tips I learnt and would like to share.

Starchy foods.

Most of us think that starchy foods are fattening, on the contrary. Starch is essential in every meal we take. What we should watch out is the amount and always go for whole grain varieties.

Fruits and vegetables

Fruits and vegetables should make the main meal in our menu. Five varieties of vegetables and fruits is recommended for daily intake. Hard? Try salad, easy for one go but spread it throughout the day and have lots of it.

Fish.

More fish into your meal, good for omega-3 essential in heart disease prevention. At least two to three portion in a week. Avoid canned fish if possible, it contains a lot of salt.

Salt, sugar and saturated fats.

Avoid saturated fats at all costs. Salt and sugar should be taken in moderation.

Exercise.

Be active and live healthy. A walk, a stretch a dance can save your life.

Water

This is the source of life. Remember almost 60% of adult body is made up of water. The more the better, 6-8 glasses a day is good. Avoid fizzy drinks. Low fat milk and water is recommended.

Breakfast.

My daily ritual. Never, ever skip breakfast. It is good for your health and helps to keep your weight in check

Smile.

Last but not least. This is mandatory, in your menu.

****Best Words of Advice****

A healthy body is and inspired mind